and since absolutely no one reads it anyhow, the transition should be remarkably smooth. I'm going to hurl depressing poem-like things into the boundless void that is the internet like a monkey throwing shit at a wall. This initial piece is an excerpt from an obnoxiously long poem i'm in the process of trimming and lubing called "a poem about how i'm gonna die alone"
oh, and by the way.. everything i write is dedicated (and pertains) to a girl who i taught the ways of hatred and fear and depression and madness but she chose, remarkably, to love..despite it all..
i was digging for a vein, slowly fucking the puncture with 100 cc's of metallic needle cock
cooing, drooling, talking filthy to it... it knew i was it's fucking whore
black and pissed off managers banging on the locked bathroom door
as i say "hold on, i'm taking a shit" while i push the fucking junk in the mainline
and as the vein fattens with dope like a salted slug, i think of the time we layed
in the tent and you were drunk and i was afraid you wouldn't wake up
if you fell asleep
i was so scared
and i told you to sing so i knew you were okay
and i sat in a mediative position, rolling a joint
while you sang "you are my sunshine" and i smiled in the partial darkness.
everything hurts all of the time and if i'm not dopesick i'm suicidal
and if i'm not suicidal i'm standing in the rain, talking to myself
trying to light a cigarette, remembering when my head roommate
at one of the many rehabs said "there's nothing as beautiful as the silence of the night"
as we were laying in bed and i was soaking wet with moonlight and the stars
were like so many diamonds and god was a giant squiad and space was his ink..i guess she's scared too.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
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